"How can I paint the happiness of a marriage which the church ratifies, the oblation confirms, the benediction seals, angels announce, the Father declares valid. Even upon earth, indeed, sons do not legitimately marry without the consent of their fathers. What a union of two believers–one hope, one vow, one discipline, and one worship! They are brother and sister, two fellow-servants, one spirit and one flesh. Where there is one flesh, there is also one spirit. They pray together, fast together, instruct, exhort, and support each other. They go together to the church of God, and to the table of the Lord. They share each other's tribulation, persecution, and revival. Neither conceals anything from the other; neither avoids neither annoys the other. They delight to visit the sick, supply the needy, give alms without constraint, and in daily zeal lay their offerings before the altar without scruple or hindrance. They do not need to keep the sign of the cross hidden, nor to express slyly their Christian joy, nor to suppress the blessing. Psalms and hymns they sing together, and they vie with each other in singing to God. Christ rejoices when he sees and hears this. He gives them his peace. Where two are gathered together in his name, there is he; and where he is, there the evil one cannot come."

A quote from Tertullian (one of the church Fathers). What beautiful picture! It makes my heart flip, and my eyes wander off and de-focus. Who can argue the beauty of the union of two true believers? Indeed, what a wonderful thing.

Today, though, if you presented such a picture to a non-Christian and asked him if he saw any such marriages in any Christians he knew, he would either burst out incredulously laughing, or run away for fear the person asking was a lunatic. Let's face it, that picture is not a reality. Oh, it most certainly should be, but it most emphatically is not. I'm not going to go off telling married couples to get their acts together. What a flat-out hypocrite that would make me. I mean, how could I speak, not being married myself? I can contemplate and theorize, and I might think my theories and abstracts would work out well, but I would get laughed and criticized down if I tried to give advice to the married. So I shall refrain. Only meditate on the above picture Tertullian gives, and ask yourself if that would aptly describe you. I very much hope it does.

To me, marriage has a two-fold purpose. Firstly, it provides a training ground for sacrificial love. I don't mean the type of love that will jump in front of a bus for someone else; that type of love is easy. Anyone could sacrifice their life in an instant for another. The type of sacrificial love I'm talking about here is the day-to-day type. They type that puts the needs and comfort of others first. The type of love that doesn't complain about doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. The type of love that is always looking for a chance to make that cup of tea or coffee without asking. The type of love that never argues and doesn't care about being right. None of these things I've mentioned are confined to the husband or to the wife, either.

The second purpose of marriage that I can see is support and love. I heard a pastor say recently 'Men thrive on respect, women thrive on love.' It is so very true. Marriage fits these two together perfectly. The husband loves the wife and puts her above himself even when she is stubborn and disrespectful, while the wife loves and respects the husband, even when he is unjust or unloving. Sacrificial love again. But when two believers marry, they supplement eachother, giving the other what he or she needs: love to a woman, respect to a man. The beautiful thing is, when the man loves the wife more, the wife respects the husband more, which makes the husband love her more for her very self, which makes the wife respect the husband more for his very self, and on it goes. What a strong union this makes, what a bond indestructably strong, strengthened by God himself.