Why are people so selfish? Why? Why are Christians so selfish? Can they see that they’re being selfish? Does it ever occur to anyone to think about anyone besides himself? Does the novel idea of letting people have more than their rights, even if one’s own are violated, ever occur to anyone? I believe I’ve said this before… the root of all sin is selfishness. And people don’t even *know* they’re being selfish. Well, they know it, but they don’t think about it because it’s so natural to them. It ties my very heart in knots when every day I see selfishness, I hear selfishness, I breathe the air of a culture whose constant cry is me, me, me, us, us us. It’s enough to make one vomit. And every person I see, every person I hear, each one thinks he’s in the right, that he is justified in his selfishness, that he is defending his (now you have to read this and hear me spitting it out with all the contemptuous force you can imagine) God given rights.
You have to understand my complete disgust and anguish here. The things that are the most painful are the things you have to watch without being able to do anything. When you watch your wife being beaten and raped in front of you while you’re chained to a chair… what can you do? What can you do but cry out in anguish? Helplesness is the sharpest of pains. Men will destroy themselves with sin, they will rip their hearts open and to shreds in their selfishness, they will turn their souls into solid stone that cannot be moved, they will abuse and starve and to very death their own spirits. And a man himself is the only one who can change his heart, with the grace of God. Words mean nothing. You cannot describe the color red to a blind man… it simply doesn’t work. You cannot soften a hardened heart with words, you cannot make people see things when their very capacity for sight is gone. You struggle for words, and the blind nod emphatically in assent saying, "Oh, yes, we see what you are saying, that makes sense," and you are left to scream to no one "You do not see O fools! How can you see when you are blind? How can you understand color if you are blind?!"
O the great depths of God’s love, O the boundless seas of his mercy, waiting for anyone, ANYONE who will simply listen, who will open his heart, who will follow as a child! But no. People are blind and selfish and arrogant. What a world. What a world.